Tell Us a JOKE, page 1

Everybody tell us some joke so wee can laugh.
First me, its a little dirty but not much.

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist.
The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window.
Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.
As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
"Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."
"That's right," says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts.
"Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks
"Yes," the woman says, "you're checking for any lumps of breast cancer."
"That's right," replies the doctor.
He then begins to have sexual intercourse with the woman. He says to her,
"Do you know what I'm doing now?"
"Yes," she says. "YOU'RE GETTING HERPES."
Hahahahahah  

Bwaahahahahha

A man goes to Iceland in July, but the weather is really cold for the middle of the summer.
He asks a local man:
-Excuse me, kind man(or in their language - kfhaglaanasiogufnsakhvbai   ), when comes the summer here in Iceland?
-I dont know. Last year it came on Wednesday.  

Hahahaha
Nice one

bahahha

Two grand dads are complaining to each other.
The one sayed: My d**k has not been up from 10 years.
The other one sayed: You are lucky guy, my one hasnt from 15.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?





Rape.

A man and his wife go to the site of their honeymoon for their 25th anniversary. As the couple is reflecting on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asks the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”

The husband replies, “All I wanted to do was fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry.”

“What are you thinking now?” the wife asks as she undresses.

The husband quickly replies: “It looks like I did a pretty good job.”

Ivancho's mother gave him 50p for breakfast and he eat them.

enen .. you bad little man !

Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office. The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says,

"What's the first thing you see when you look at me?"

The guy says, "That's not too hard, you've got no ears."

The interviewer says, "That's it, get out, you'll never be seen around here again."

The second man takes his turn and is asked the same question. The applicant replies, "Uh, you've got no ears."

The interviewer throws the guy out, cursing and yelling that he'll never get a job with his company.

As the second guy is leaving, the second guy warns the third guy, "Listen man, whatever you do, don't say he hasn't got any ears. He's so touchy with the ear thing."

"Okay," said man #3 on his way into the office.

Once inside he is told, "Name the first thing you notice when you look at me."

The guy answers, "That's easy, you wear contacts."

The interviewer was flabbergasted, "How on earth did you know that, son?"

The applicant answered, "What? Are you stupid? You can't wear glasses, you've got no ears!"

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone'.  He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,
'If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.  Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night.

He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.

She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!
..............and the morel of this story ?...............

YOU CAN'T KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE!!!!

this is nice Mel  

   

a sad horse goes to a bar...
the bartender.... hey...why the long face?